Keeping Up With the Humphries...

Well, now that Kim is married, what the hell is America going to do on Sunday nights?
Now that we won't hear her bitching about being single, going on blind dates with random Armenian soccer players her momager has pimped her out to, and calling Reggie Bush to yell at him because he "can't be texting other whores!" (riiiight...) I'm fairly certain we're all going to have to find a new hobby.
Thank goodness, it's almost football season.
Well, that, and I'm pretty sure the girl will get herself knocked up in all of about 1 season of filming their spin-off reality TV show, Keeping Up with Kris & Kim, which will quickly launch into some sort of a rap song entitled, "Have a baby by me, baby, you'll be a single mama."

Good luck to Kimmie, even though I could give two shits about your keep-an-athlete wedding, I must say that your hair and makeup was seriously stunning for your main event, and you looked beautiful for your wedding day.

Your husband, on the other hand, looks like a blue eyed orangutan.

Just A Warning for Kim K...From LC

I've been hearing a lot of talk about Kim K and Kanye hooking up, and I really don't know if this is true, and it's really none of my business, since I not only will probably never meet either of these people, but will also probably never really take a vested interest in their love lives. But I do feel obligated, as a woman, to give Kim a little piece of advice, from one lady to another.

Your alleged mack daddy? Has a big f#*king mouth. And I can say that, acknowledging completely that I, too, oftentimes have a big f%#king mouth, myself. Sure, this has made him millions upon millions of dollars. I'm sure he's been able to buy people homes, feed the poor, buy clothes for the needy, blah, blah, blah. But truth be told, his big mouth has also gotten him into some trouble, and while I realize that everyone messes up and everyone makes mistakes (I mean, Kim, you of all people would know that, since you've had certain tapes with Ray J circulating the globe 25 times over) he also needs to learn when to speak up, and when to keep his jaw wired shut.

Picking on Taylor Swift once was bad enough. Going back the next year and then saying she "used the incident to get more famous" is just in bad taste, Kanye. Get over yourself, the girl wrote you a damn song, let's move on already.

That being said, if he'd do this to Taylor, someone he clearly has no romantic interest in whatsoever, imagine what he'll do when the two of you break up. I'm sure he'll have lots to say about you, much of it unpleasant, and those rumors will not be anything nice to hear, Kim. Just food for thought.

Mr. West may be in the building, but if he was in mine, I would recommend he leave, immediately.

I don't know about you, but if I had ass implants, I certainly wouldn't want rumors about that leaked to the press. One argument with Kanye about what movie to watch on date night, and all of a sudden, you're Perez Hilton's next blog post.

Out to Sea

My oldest nephew is only a year younger than I am, so when he left to the military, it damn near broke my heart. He was my best friend growing up, and pretty much like a brother to me. Since his Mom was a young mom, and she married my brother when he was in his early 20's, we grew up together like siblings. So when the opportunities arose for me to visit him wherever he was stationed, I would try and visit. And each time I did, I would get to take a tour of the Coast Guard ship where he and his buddies all worked.

I can tell you that a Coast Guard ship is much different from a yacht; they are not luxurious by any stretch of the imagination, and in my stilettos, I almost fell flat on my ass more than once. But the idea of being on the water in elegant clothing is the dream of many women I know, which is why so many women buy into the idea of going on cruises, or taking a yacht out for the day or weekend with friends. And Kim Kardashian is certainly no exception.

Except this lucky biotch?
Got to go out to sea with none other than Miles Austin, the cutie patootie of Dallas Cowboys fame.

Wearing a high waisted black A-line skirt with a beaded silver belt, fitted white top, heels, and a big floppy black Eugenia Kim hat, Kim looks stunning, and is certainly the envy of every woman who not only wants to take a vacation aboard a yacht, but also those who are dying to get in Miles Austin's skivvies. (Or boxer briefs. Whatever the Texans are doing these days.)

To purchase a hat for yourself like Kim's, go to www.shopthetrendboutique.com. Eugenia Kim hat, $230