The Skinny on the Faux Fur Vest

Heyyy skinny bitches! This vest is calling your name.

Before I start getting hate mail, (and believe me, I do) please understand where I'm coming from when dishing out the fashion advice when it comes to this chic cold weather trend.

FIrst off, please do not think I am ridiculing anyone who's made the leap to purchase a faux fur vest. I mean, I would buy one, too, in fact, I would love to purchase the one above, except that since my breast size is deceiving, and with the right bra, I could pass for a D cup, I look a little top heavy, which is a look I loathe. I think it makes you look unnecessarily fat.

Which brings me to my next point. If you're toting around a few extra ten, twenty, or thirty pounds on you, I don't CARE what your "dress sexy at every age!" magazines tell you to do. You have no business wearing a faux fur vest, unless you're planning to go to a costume party afterwards and double as Chewbacca. These vests are made for the super slender, and you have to be able to pull off the look with simple, clean lines through the rest of the outfit. They can make your body look at least 10 to 20 pounds bigger than you really are if you're not styling the look right, if you don't pick the right type of fur, or if the vest is not cut right, and if you're already a curvy gal or if you have a little extra cushion here, there, and everywhere, you're going to make a mockery of the vest.

Look, I'm not saying i haven't ever made some serious fashion faux pas myself. For a brief moment in college, I owned a pair of dark denim jeans that were seriously as bell bottomed as Cher or Sonny's, and much too tight, considering I really needed to diet more and drink less liquid calories in my undergraduate days. (Vodka was my BFF.) They looked hideous on me, and it's a lesson I wish never to repeat. Add to the fact that I had some truly heinous pairs of shoes in my closet that I'd wear once or twice and never wear again. My style has since improved; but it's these lessons that I wish to pass down to the next generation. Why have knowledge, if you're not going to share it?

Even if it has to do with faux fur vests, and Juicy Couture's gorgeous version, pictured above, when you've got wisdom to share, and some tough love advice to give, a gift isn't a gift until you give it away.